Advice about life after layoffs, from people who have lost their jobs

Advice about life after layoffs, from people who have lost their jobsAdvice about life after layoffs, from people who have lost their jobsBeing laid off is one of the most emotionally fraught experiences you can go through in your career. Its something many of us inevitably go through, but it can be hard to discuss with potential employers, let alone your worried friends and family.Thats why we asked to hear your layoff stories to commiserate over terrible workplace exits and to share wisdom from those of you who have come out of forced unemployment to live to tell the tale.Some of you had best-case scenarios and some of you enduredhumiliatingly public layoffs thatstill haunt you. All of you were honest when asked by future employers by what had happened. Heres what Ladders readers said.See if you can get a heads up without causing panicThose of you with thoughtful managers usually got a heads-up about a potential layoff. Patrick from New York said he knew that his days were numbered when my manager came to me in March and told me it would be good for me to keep my resume up to date, that changes were coming and would be widespread.Later the nextmonth, his managers prediction came true. The preparation he had from his manager helped him find a new job without a gemeinsame agrarpolitik in unemployment.I think of this as sort of a best-case scenario for layoffs. I had a months unofficial warning and then a months official warning and then two months severance on top of that. I found a job just as the severance welches running out, so I guess I needed everything I got.Mysterious vague meetings are usually a warning signWord to the wise if your manager makes a meeting to touch base, you may need to pack up your stuff, as Mike from Arizonadid.My manager set a meeting titled Touch Base on my calendar a couple days before. (This shouldve been my first indication of what was coming. Id done the same thing when I had to let people go.), he wrote.The day I was let go, I walked into his office and an HR part was there - someone Id worked closely over the past couple of years. I had been through it on the other side of the desk, so after he told me I was being let go. I shook his hand, thanked him for everything, and went back to my office for a few minutes. Theres no point in prolonging the meeting or asking questions. HR is there to deflect it all anyway. I took the high road.Leave a good impressionEmotions are running high during the layoff, so it can be tempting to act out or be angry, but it pays off in the long run toleave a good impression onyour former employer. In any case, theres leidhing productive to be gained by lashing out once youre laid off, the decision has already been made and it wont be reversed.As Mike wrote, A few days later, I ran into one of my closest friends at work and she talked to my former manager afterward. She told him I took the news like a pro. He also said the way I handled it made him feel even worse - which, I m ust admit, felt good to hear The security team, as usual, was there to make koranvers I wasnt going to cause trouble. I shook their hands on the way out. They were so nice and sympathetic.Be prepared for a lot of emotionsNot every company is good at laying people off. Having a private decision made public also makes the layoff sting more.Teri, who worked at a company for more than three years, said the way her news directorcalled her into a Human Resources office in front of everyone left her embarrassed, sad, angry.Others also had less than pleasant HR experiences that still leave lasting impressions.HR was absurdly concerned about getting me out the door immediately, Anne, who had been at hercompany for 20 years, remembers clearly about her layoff. They really didnt want me to go back to my office to get my things. I insisted on it anyway. I was angry about being let go and I was angry that, after working there for 20 years, they were acting like I couldnt be trusted. Also, the se verance was stingy- 12 weeks for a 20-year tenure.An in-person layoff feels more personal than a layoff via phone or email. For some of you, it felt like getting a phone call meant that your hard work for the company never mattered.As Stan from New Jersey, wrote, his layoff by phone left him feeling like a piece of trash that was discarded.In one surreal experience, Drew from New York said that after he learned about his layoff, his boss posted my job description immediately and began interviewing my potential replacement while I was still in the office. He also tried to throw me a going away party (I refused) and gave me a card and a bottle of booze on my last day.Our readers best advice on how to handle a layoffAlways be nice to people. You never know whos going to end up where and when youll need somebody to vouch for you. - Ross, New York, New YorkDont panic. Take a day to figure out your next steps, and let your emotions subside before sending any rash emails. Also to find a ne w job, strike when the iron is hot and people are sympathetic to your plight. - Emily, New York, New YorkNegotiate. Dont feel guilty or embarrassed. And go to the gym every day instead of sleeping late and feeling sorry for yourself.- Drew, New York, New YorkPTO turns out not to be a very good deal if you never have the opportunity to use it.- Tad, Oakland, CaliforniaIf it does happen to you unexpectedly, take it as an opportunity to do something better. I took a chance with a payout and eventually got a job with a much higher salary. - Anora, New York, New YorkKnow that work doesnt define you, and if it does, there are bigger issues to deal with. Youll find a job again. - Josh, New York, New YorkThink about what you really want to do, what skills you have, where you might be happiest. Try not to panic. There are always ways to make moneyLiving through it is freeing- you know that you can survive anything. - Susanna, Brooklyn, New YorkIf you feel personally targeted, talk to your un ion, a lawyer right away. Otherwise keep your head up. They let you go, and you need to let them go.- Teri, city not disclosedNo matter how dumb an idea it was for your employer to let you go, you have to get over that pain and anger you feel. It took me over a month, but once I mentally moved on, I was able to start searching productively for opportunities I was excited about. You have to be able to talk about yourself and your career without this traumatic event dominating every detail. - Chris, Kansas City, MissouriAlways keep a rainy day fund to relieve the stress of extended unemployment. I manage my finances to plan for a worst-case scenario and I was financially prepared for this event.- Anonymous, San Clemente, CaliforniaIf at all possible, take the high road and dont say something that will make you feel good for 30 seconds only to regret it forever. You never know whose path you might again crossIf you get severance and can afford to do so, give yourself time to exhale and decompress. You need to get your mind cleared before you can start a job search.- Mike, Phoenix, ArizonaAct as if anything your company provides you computer, email, wolke account, etc., could be taken away fromyou at the end of any meeting you go into, because thats how they do. - Patrick, New York, New York1. Dont stay at work right after it happens, lest you say something you may not mean. If you have work to do before your end date, thats fine, but take a walk, get a coffee, call a friend or a loved one, and let the shock of it pass before you see another colleague. Youll have a lot of sympathy from coworkers and friends in this situation, and its best to maintain that reservoir. Youll need it.2. Call everyone. You never know who has a good contact, who has admired your work from afar, etc. Theres absolutely no shame in what youre going through, so post (kindly) about your situation, let people know youre looking, and work your network with your head up. In all likelihood this decision has nothing to do with you, your skill or your performance, so carry that pride with you. - Matt, New York, New York